He's My Son by Nine
by yoplait2000
Summary: . I still remember how jealous I felt when Seven told me she wanted to have a baby and that she was going to ask Lewis to help us out. I felt betrayed.


Title: He's My Son  
Rating: PG  
Author: Nine - .com/docseven2000  
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.  
Summary: Doc's thoughts.  
Archive: Ask first, please.

**  
Down on my knees again tonight. I'm hoping this prayer will turn out right.  
See there is boy that needs Your help. I've done all that I can do  
myself...

A doctor is capable of many things. Healing small cuts and bruises that  
happen along life's rocky road. Setting a broken bone, lowering a fever.  
Literally bringing a person out of the hands of death. Miracles happen at  
your fingertips.

I think back to all the people I've healed, all the sicknesses I've cured  
and all the miracles that happened at my own fingertips. It all  
seems so vague and far away. And so mundane even.

Why can't I heal him? That little two year old boy lays within the darkness  
of Sickbay, has been there for almost a year, and I can do nothing except  
sit and watch him struggle to breathe, see the disappointment in those brown  
eyes when kids hop off a biobed and leave with their parents. All this  
healing I've caused, all these miracles I've done and it feels empty. Like  
nothing now. Because I can't cure this one little life that lays asleep not  
far from my office. It brings holographic tears to my holographic cheeks.  
How fair is it, that I a hologram, a computer generated being, can live life  
to it's fullest and this little boy must suffer indefinately? He has so  
much life in him. He could be so much.

But it doesn't seem like that's ever to be. I can't heal him. I can't do a  
miracle for him. I'm helpless. I gaze out into the main of Sickbay as the  
doors slide open and she goes to him. She visits him every night.

**  
His mother is tired. I'm sure You can understand.  
Each night as he sleeps, she goes in to hold his hand.  
And she tries not to cry as the tears fill her eyes...

"Seven," I whisper as I leave the confines of my office. My hands  
immediately rest on her shoulders as she leaned back against me.

"I didn't realize you were active, Doctor," she says. I smile. She still  
calls me Doctor, despite my chosen name. Then again, most  
of them do. The most I can hope for is when I'm introduces as Dr.  
Zimmerman.

Leaving all thoughts of that behind, I sigh. "I couldn't sleep. How about  
you? Are you sleeping okay?"

She nods, just barely. She doesn't sleep well at all, I know. She was  
supposed to be regenerating tonight. Seven, I wish you wouldn't tire  
yourself. I can feel her body getting slightly heavier as she rests against  
me. She can't afford to spend another night here. She has got to  
regenerate tonight. "I will go to my alcove soon," she sighs, almost as if  
reading my thoughts.

"Good," I reply gently. She needs this time with him. He isn't awake as  
much anymore and I think it panics her. I know it panics me. His time is  
running out. I've got to do something. But what?

**  
Can You hear me? Am I getting through tonight?  
Can You see him? Can You make him feel all right?  
If You can hear me, let me take his place somehow.  
See he's not just anyone, he's my son...

He's my son. Or as close to it as any child will get. I still remember how  
jealous I felt when Seven told me she wanted to have a baby and that she was  
going to ask Lewis to help us out. I felt betrayed. Not by her, but by my  
own makings. My own wife and we'd never have the privilege of creating a  
life together. I suppose it's no different than what some other parents go  
through, inter-species marriages suffer that frequently. But I coudn't help  
but repeat over and over in my mind, 'If you'd only been human, you wouldn't  
suffer this.' Seven said that I was being stupid, but it really bothered me  
that I couldn't ever make a child with her. And it didn't help when Lewis,  
my creator and father you could say, agreed. I knew she had no feelings for  
him, but I also knew his reputation concerning women and it left me less  
than thrilled. But he was the best choice. The child would virtually be  
mine in  
appearance and be everything he would have been had I been human and his  
father.

But evertually that jealousy and disappointment turned into purest joy when  
she conceived. Her pregnancy was fun. There were the bad times, like when  
she was sick to her stomach, but even in those days we bonded closer. And  
then the night Aaron was born. I'll never forget it. Ten hours of  
seemingly endless labor and Seven trying to devise ways of hurting me  
because I didn't understand what she was going through. Things would be  
quiet for an hour at a time and then she'd suddenly look at me and size me  
up. Things like that can leave even a hologram chilled. But then he came  
and we stared at his beautiful face for the first hour. We were sure  
everything was going to be fine. We were so damned certain.

**  
Sometimes late at night I watch him sleep. I dream of the boy he'd like to  
be. I try to be strong and see him through. But God who he needs right is  
You...

And for the first year everything went as planned. He had a normal  
babyhood. Seven was very particular about just what he was exposed to and  
who held him. Why shouldn't she have been? He was our child and too  
precious for us to let anything bad to happen.

Then came the night of Voyager's annual reunion and everyone was there.  
Starfleet society, ambassadors, you name it. And a lot of attention was  
focussed on little Aaron. Everyone wanted to see the son of the hologram  
and Borg. Unfortunately everyone included some very bad people. People who  
didn't think it was proper for a hologram and a Borg to be acknowledged as  
people, let alone a family. Since we'd arrived in the Alpha Quadrant it was  
no secret that there were those who thought Seven nothing but a 'freak' as  
they put it and that she'd marry a hologram proved she wasn't right. And  
there were those who thought that I was some sort of sick program designed  
to take advantage of a young woman who was still learning who she was as a  
human and that if she'd been a little more experianced she'd know that a  
hologram wasn't the right mate. That was I taking advantage of her. Where  
still not even sure who did it, but when Aaron wandered away that night,  
they took the opportunity to rip him out of our lives. Bio-warfare waged  
against  
a child! They dared to suggest that my wife and I were wrong for our love  
and then they brought themselves to such a twisted atrocity as poisoning a  
child? The anger doesn't fade ever. Every time I think of those who might  
have done this, I want to rip them to shreds and then put them back together  
so I can torture them again. They should could themselves blessed that I  
don't know who they are.

I take a deep breath, not that I've ever needed it, and rest my head against  
hers. I try to be strong for them both, but sometimes it's  
hard not to let it show. It kills a part of me each time I think of what he  
could have been. She turns around and touches my face, knowing what I need.  
"I love you," she whispers, wrapping herself into me and joining my tears.  
Just once I wish I could feel the tears sting my eyes. As if it would  
make it more real. But how could it be any more real than this? It's  
devastating.

**  
Let him grow old, live life without this fear.  
What would I be living without him here?  
He's so tired and he's scared. Let him know that You're there...

We stand here together for a long time, almost fifteen minutes and then she  
pulls away. Her lips brush against my own and she says, "We will be fine."

I tell her that almost everyday and yet sometimes it's just so hard to  
believe. How would I ever be all right if he...if he. I can't afford to  
think that way. I can't live without this little life sleeping not far.  
What would I be without him? How could I ever go on? What would  
a day be like without him? I don't want to know. Please don't let me know.  
I couldn't stand it. But I nod and try to smile at her. She's so  
beautiful. Does she know how precious she is to me? I kiss her once more  
and she turns back to Aaron, taking his little hand and kissing it. "I love  
you," she whispers. "Sleep well."

Turning back to me, she says, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Seven. I love you," I answer and she leaves. And I let my eyes  
go back to my son. My little boy struggles to rest and my hands shake.  
What can I do? I have to find the answer. Seven misses me those nights  
that we spend in our quarters and she wakes to find I'm gone. But she never  
contacts me to see where I'm at. I guess she instinctively knows that I'm  
still here in my Sickbay, still searching for the answer. For the miracle  
cure that will save my boy from this terrible fate. I'll never stop either.  
Not so long as he lives. I wipe the holo tears from my cheeks and touch  
his hand. I love you, Aaron.

**  
Can You hear me? Am I getting through tonight?  
Can You see him? Can You make him feel all right?  
If You can hear me, let me take his place somehow.  
See he's not just anyone...Can You hear me? Can You see him? Please don't  
leave him.  
He's my son.

Creator of this universe, hear me. I would trade this soul you've placed  
within a hologram's matrix if it would save him. Don't take  
him from this place yet. Let him live life and know the things that I've  
been allowed to know. I would be incomplete without him. Give me that  
miracle I need to save him. He needs You. I need You.

As I sigh and return to my office I turn my terminal on and stare at the  
screen, waiting for that breakthrough to hit me.

I can't help but grin in surprise when it does.

The End.


End file.
